1. Assess the Situation 4 steps

Understand what's needed and create a realistic plan.

• 1. Evaluate Their Needs — Assess what help your parent actually needs: medical, daily living, financial, emotional, social. Be honest.

• 2. Understand Their Wishes — Talk with your parent about their preferences: where they want to live, what help they'll accept, future plans.

• 3. Take Inventory of Resources — Identify available resources: your time, siblings' help, financial resources, community services, professional care.

• 4. Have Family Conversation — If you have siblings, discuss caregiving openly. Who can do what? How will responsibilities be shared?

2. Navigate the Relationship Shift. 4 steps

Handle the emotional complexity of becoming a caregiver to your parent.

• 1. Acknowledge Role Reversal — Recognize that caring for a parent inverts the relationship. This is emotionally complex for everyone.

• 2. Preserve Dignity — Help in ways that maintain your parent's dignity and autonomy. Support rather than take over when possible.

• 3. Process Your Own Grief — Watching a parent age involves grief—for who they were, for your relationship, for your own mortality. Let yourself feel it.

• 4. Set Healthy Boundaries — Caring for a parent doesn't mean abandoning your own life. Define what you can and can't do.

3. Protect Your Own Life 4 steps

Maintain your wellbeing and relationships while caregiving.

• 1. Guard Your Relationship — Keep investing in your partnership. Caregiving stress can strain marriages. Communicate and connect.

• 2. Maintain Your Health — Don't sacrifice your own health for caregiving. Exercise, sleep, eat well, go to your own appointments.

• 3. Keep Some Personal Life — Protect time for yourself: friendships, hobbies, rest. You can't pour from an empty cup.

• 4. Get Support — Join a caregiver support group, see a therapist, or connect with others in similar situations. You're not alone.

4. Build a Sustainable System 4 steps

Create caregiving arrangements that work long-term.

• 1. Accept Help — Don't try to do everything yourself. Accept help from family, friends, and professionals. Delegate.

• 2. Explore Professional Resources — Research home care, adult day programs, respite care, and other services. Professional help isn't failure.

• 3. Plan for Changes — Needs will likely increase over time. Think ahead about next steps: more help, different living situations.

• 4. Take Breaks — Schedule regular respite—time completely away from caregiving. This is essential, not optional.