1. Create Communication Rituals 4 steps

Establish regular habits for meaningful conversation.

• 1. Daily Check-In — Set aside 10-15 minutes each day to check in. Ask: 'What's one thing on your mind?' Listen without fixing.

• 2. Device-Free Conversations — During important talks, put phones away and face each other. Give your partner your full attention.

• 3. Weekly State of Us — Schedule a weekly conversation about your relationship—what's working, what needs attention, appreciations.

• 4. Choose the Right Time — Avoid heavy conversations when tired, hungry, or stressed. Agree on a better time if needed.

2. Speak to Be Understood 4 steps

Express yourself clearly in ways your partner can receive.

• 1. Start Softly — Begin difficult conversations gently. Avoid starting with criticism or complaints. State observations first.

• 2. Be Specific — Replace vague statements with specific examples: 'When you checked your phone during dinner, I felt ignored.'

• 3. Express Needs Directly — Tell your partner what you need instead of expecting them to guess: 'I need some reassurance right now.'

• 4. Use Appreciation — Balance concerns with appreciation. For every criticism, share several genuine appreciations.

3. Listen to Connect 4 steps

Show your partner that their perspective matters to you.

• 1. Listen Without Planning Your Response — Focus entirely on what your partner is saying. Don't mentally prepare your rebuttal while they talk.

• 2. Reflect and Validate — Summarize what you heard and validate their feelings: 'It makes sense you'd feel that way because...'

• 3. Ask Curious Questions — Ask questions to understand better: 'Can you tell me more about that?' 'What would help you feel better?'

• 4. Respond with Empathy First — Before offering solutions or your perspective, show empathy: 'That sounds really difficult.'